'Only William & Mary would make a pen that works backwards.' by Kara
Wednesday, December 6, 2006 at 9:26 AM

Storyline over. I realised today that, hey! I have space between stories right around Christmas. Don't know what I'm gonna do with it yet, but I'm gonna have some serious fun. After that complex story, I need to dick around a little.

That said, I hope I'm allowed a bit of a morbid posts. It's on the dead pet again. But a lot of readers are pretty sad about Clodia themselves, so it's probably good that you lot can get some news, too.

Tuesdays are my night out, so I tend to have a lot of messages when I get home. Got one from the Colony Animal Hospital last night telling me that Clo's ashes are ready to pick up whenever I want to.

And I really ... really don't want to.

I've actually been pretty good about it for the past week and a half. I mean, I got Noriko so Scout would have as little alone-time as possible, and looking after her -- mainly teaching her not to nip and breaking her of trying to eat my hair or dig holes in the sofa -- has kept me occupied. James Herriot always said the best time to get a new pet is as soon as possible after one dies, and as awful as it sounds, I've always subscribed to that and found it to be true.

I remember when Mitzi (my childhood dog who lived to be about 14) died, and I got the ashes back. I'd gotten Ace, my first guinea pig, and while a guinea pig most certainly isn't a childhood dog, I'd had classes and hiding her from the Residence Advisor looking after her to keep me distracted. Made the mistake of opening up the box with Mitzi's ashes, and completely destroyed whatever amazing strength of emotion I'd managed to keep up.

Right now, I know for a fact I'm not emotionally ready to get Clo's ashes back. But I also know I kinda have to, and the longer I wait, the worse it's gonna get.

I'm not even sure what to do with them. Ace had a favourite spot outside, because she was so mellow that I could take her out to get some sun and eat clover. Clo never really went outside because, while she wasn't paranoid and prone to dash off, she was very curious and liked to explore. So there's nowhere of note to scatter them. The g'rents said they'd hold onto them until I decide what to do, though.

I just know that right now I'm really not up for it ... especially the part where I'll be going home alone afterwards. This is not something I want to do. But like I said, I've gotta, no matter how unprepared I am.

And I still don't know what the post-postmortem is. It's not gonna change anything, but I really am curious.

If you have been, you might as well.