'We are Newport News VIRGINS!!!' by Kara
Friday, March 24, 2006 at 8:28 AM

Well, it looks like my computer will be replaced very quickly - this weekend, in fact. Which means my stress will be dropped down considerably, and I won't have co-writers fussing at me to 'take it easy.' Or maybe I will. I have a feeling I will, actually. They're like that, always giving a damn about me. (Crazy people.) And no, haven't decided what to name the new compyuu yet, although (given it and my laptop) I've gotten in the habit of naming my computers after PGSM actresses. So I dunno. Depends on the personality - whether it's spastic, bitchy, or ... erm ... likes to cook.

The concert last night was very nifty. Michael Feinstein is clearly constantly hopped up on something, and Linda Eder makes me wish I could do that thing in The Little Mermaid and steal her voice. Although I've gotta admit, I really wasn't expecting the foremost scholar on and performer of classic Broadway/standards to bust into some Jerry Lee Lewis. That killed me.

The majority of the audience was three times my age, which makes me a little sad ... but there were some twentysomethings who were there legitimately and of their own volition. Although I have a feeling they were music majors from the college next door. Seriously, though, give them a listen. Linda Eder was in 'Scarlet Pimpernel' and 'Jekyll & Hyde' and everything else in the world, if you're into pretentious newer Broadway.

Blah blah blah. You want poll results.

What's your favourite Lucky Charms marshmallow?

FIRST: Purple pipe bombs - 42% (not really ... you just wanna be cool by voting for the funny one)
SECOND: Green clovers - 8%
THIRD: Yellow moons - 6%

Orange stars - 4%
Pink hearts/blue diamonds - 2% each

OTHER
* 'Teacups!': +15, I like teacups
* 'The skull and crossbones': -10, wrong cereal
* 'Blue handcuffs and black bondage gear': +10, fetish
* 'The ones that don't taist like sawdust': -30, can't spell 'taste'
* 'The magic ones lucky used in those commercials. MARSHMELLOW POWER ACTIVATE!': -10, also can't spell; +20, Wonder Twins
* 'The ones that go in my mouth': -1, duh
* 'George W. Bush Red Pentagrams': -100, mentioning a political figure; -666, not even bothering to be creative about it
* 'Leprechaun-eating hamsters': +15, hamsters
* 'Chartreuse Crunchies': +5, alliteration; +10, agreeing that Lucky Charms 'shmallows are crunchy

THIS WEEK'S WTF AWARD: 'For some reason or another, lucky charms reminds me of a deck of cards....which are edible I might add.'

CORRECT ANSWER: 'Once you've extracted all the cereal bits and eaten them, leaving a bowl of marshmellows softening in discolored milk, it just seems unfair and unkind to start playing favorites.'

This week's poll is highly important to the future of Hollywood as we know it. If you have been, honk if you love Jesus.