'I have faith in your readers to come up with some stupi.... CLEVER answers.' by Kara
Friday, March 17, 2006 at 8:43 AM

Happy St. Thingy's Day. I'm not going out drinking tonight. Because I'm not dumb. Besides, new Doctor Who starts on TV tonight (Sci-Fi, 9 PM), and even though I've seen all of last season and Christmas Invasion, I want to watch it. And tape it, so I can inflict it on family members who really just need to see it.

My family has become obsessed with Trader Joe's. We just recently got one around here. I suppose I'll have to go in myself and see what all the hoo-ha is about. I don't see what's so exciting about a grocery store, though. (Yeah, yeah, I know ... Yankee Candle Factory ... shut up.)

Before I go on to the poll results, here is a picture from Fox News. See the guy looking right on the left side? In the blue? That's my friend Ota. Talking to him is my friend Britney. A few other people (including me) were there and off out of the frame. FAME!

What are you going to give Kara for her retroactive birthday?

First: Live nude lobsters - 22%
Second (tie): Pirate gelt / a pony / an empty gift box - 7% each
Third: A car - 5%

An echidna / bag of bees - 3% each
Motorbike - 2%
Any sort of money - 0% (You guys suck)

ALSO: A pirate, a plushie crab, God-Jesus, ninja samurai robotmonkeys, a hot guy in tights and a codpiece, mongeese, chocolate and booze, a disco kendama, the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything (42), ferrets, retroactivity, a Hard Gay plushie, a Mazda RX-8, a pack of blank DVDs, ferrets, a good-quality DVD of this, love and affection ('because I can't afford a wombat'), and ... several more.

PENALTIES
* 'A hundred screaming aborted fetuses, torn from the womb of the hive alien queen, drenched in quarts of barbecue sauce.' (-50, trying too hard to get the WTF Award)
* 'A poll result.' (-20, being stingy)
* 'A fully transformable special Genesic GaoGaiGar with Orbital Base for all your parking needs.' (-10, getting my hopes up)
* 'Man-Faye' (-10, Man-Faye)

This Week's WTF Award: 'Dinner and a movie with Bill Cosby.' (Would it involve gay cowboys eating pudding?)

Correct Answer: 'Something really ... really cool.' (Now I'm all curious.)

Off I go. If you have been, walk it off.