'Duct tape ... bottled water ... gays ... yep, I'm all set!' by Kara
Friday, July 11, 2008 at 2:03 PM

Safely ensconced at the Shore Leave hotel. If you're here or are going to be here, the fun starts tonight at 9. Bring your wives friends!

What's the tourist level like in your town/region?

First: More importantly than that, I live near a major city -- 18%
Second: I live near an historical area -- 9%
Third: None. I live in a black hole of nothingness. / A bit during the summer, but pretty tame. / Frantic during the warm parts of the year. -- 5%

I live near a theme park. -- 2%
I live near a theme park AND an historical area. -- 2%
There's a place nearby that gives you $20 for every dead tourist you bring in. -- 2%

Uncreativity Penalty: Anyone who compared tourist season to any sort of hunting season. Sorry, it was funny when it first showed up on shirts and bumper stickers my freshman year at college, but it's now joined the ranks of 'I'm not suffering from insanity ... I'm enjoying every minute of it!' in the Hackneyed Shirt Quote Pile.

Points

* 'Pretty bad, we're the passerby city of mazes that out of towners go apeshit trying to navigate.': Yeah, a lot of times even the people who are just along the way have to suffer. +10 for your sorrows.

* 'IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!! ...ohgod I am so sorry.': No points, but I hope you die.

* 'There is a lake, there is a beach, there is a city. We live between them all. We SEE tourists, they just don't stop here.': +5 for picking a good spot. At least a good telescope could provide some entertainment.

* 'We're gonna keep re-enacting paul revere's ride until we actually *beat* the british at it...': +25. Hope you manage.

* 'A clusterfuck of stupid. Had to wear a dust mask last time I went downtown so as not to suffocate in the stupidity.': +10 for using the word 'clusterfuck.'

* 'Not that busy except for the first KFC and one week in september they have the world chicken festival.': +10. 'World Chicken Festival.' I just like how that sounds. But -5 for not giving a link, which means I had to search it out myself (not that it was terribly hard to find ... it's the principle of the thing).

Correct Answer: 'The city paid snipers took care of that.'

New poll. Your answer to this poll could very well save your life. If you have been, it's TOO HOT.