'Because nothing says hot yuusha blood like an earless futurecat.' by Kara
Monday, May 12, 2008 at 6:39 AM

So, despite reviewers all over Reviewistan insisting that Speed Racer's visuals are 'potentially seizure-inducing,' I went to see it. I was sort of assuming that 'seizure-inducing' was once again reviewer-ese for 'I consider it annoyingly bright and colourful' rather than 'This is a genuine medical concern, we would recommend not seeing it if you are prone to seizures.' I was, of course, right, and I blame Pokemon. I can't help but wonder how far 'potentially miscarriage-inducing' would get if a reviewer said it.

That said, reviewers also said it was bad. But if I don't trust them with health issues, I certainly don't let them tell me what to like.

And, well, I don't think my readers will have trouble understanding why I think it's awesome.

Back when The Flintstones was made, John Goodman and Rick Moranis were apparently trying to get really clever and things with their acting. Finally, at one point, the director look around the camera at them and said, 'Guys ... just do the cartoon.' And, well, I think that was a good movie. Ditto Speed Racer.

Now, to start. I'm not a big Wachowski fan. I'm just not. They bug me. I think my Weird Uncle was right in saying that they must've stolen the first Matrix script because the second and third were so sub par compared to it. And I didn't see V for Vendetta because I don't generally put myself in front of something that is self-professed as political. (I just don't care, guys, you know that.) They make pretty things, but I really don't care what they think of the state of society.

There was a little ... little ... puddle of that early on. It was a good message for the movie, the 'little guy' standing up to the 'big guy' and the love of the sport before all else, family ties, all that. Good stuff, noble stuff. But there was a seriously eyeroll-worthy monologue from our bad boy that made me wish I had a *desk* to *head* against. But once they'd gotten that out of their system, which didn't take long ...

... ohhhh man.

It was just right. It really was. Once they got their Wachowskiness out of the way in that little blurb, they Did The Cartoon. And it was good, and it was right. It didn't change names or try to dress up the old cartoon and make it less goofy and more 'sophisticated'. (Inspector Detector, guys ... Inspector. Detector.) And that's what I was most afraid of. I'm pretty sure that's what most people were afraid of, that it would try to 'legitimise' the whole thing and make it cool. There are so many adaptations of childhood things that I've been so frightened of seeing because there's some sort of Hollywood mentality that ... I don't know, what is it? What is this necessity to take something we grew up with (okay, Speed Racer was not 'my' generation, but even so, I watched it and enjoyed it) and make it 'cool'? I don't want someone telling me, 'This cartoon wasn't good enough, we're going to make it better and then people will really love it!'

Nah, the most Speed Racer does there is ... just ... MAKE IT FULL OF COLOURS. But beyond that? It's the show! Which is why people who didn't watch the show aren't gonna really 'get it.'

Yeah, I like 'thinking' movies. I'm a cultural snob. I analyse stuff within an inch of its life (and the lives of my poor tolerant friends). But I also don't want people to screw with the classics. So, erm, yeah. I will be going to see this again. I don't know if my Weird Uncle was ever into it (I know he watched Tetsuwan Atom Astro Boy), but I'd like to see him give it a go if he was.

Now let's see what they do to Prince Caspian and Indiana Jones.

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