'Who put the d key next to the f key?' by Kara
Friday, January 23, 2009 at 9:44 AM

My illness progresses in new and exciting ways. I won't describe them to you, as they're a bit gross.

Apropos of this week's poll, go here and click on everything.

Which Hogwarts house are you best suited for?

First: Ravenclaw: 15%
Second: Gryffindor / Hufflepuff / Whichever house has the cutest guys/girls. / Doesn't matter, I'll get killed off pretty quickly.: 7%
Third: Slytherin / None, I'd totally be at a different school / I feel too uninformed to answer this question and not witty enough to fake something: 2%

Uncreativity Penalty: None! Good on ya!

* 'Can't I be non-denominational? I don't like freakish hats making decisions for me. I also don't like being forced into your boxes, man. Cliques are so mid-eighties to mid-nineties.': Ugh ... there's one in every class. -5 and stay after school. We're keeping an eye on you and your type.

* 'I'd take employment at the Bertie Botts candy factory - or the Whizzo Chocolate factory, if you prefer MPFC.': I do, so +10

* 'I would pretend to live in one of the houses when I actually wasa expelled about four years earlier when they found out I was a muggle and actually sleep under a bush. ': You're creepy. -5

* 'I was home-schooled and passed my N.E.W.T.s and O.W.L.s when I was twelve.': Insufferable swot. You get +25 from the teacher, but nobody likes you.

* 'Like Harry, I'm a match for both Gryffindor and Slytherin. Unlike Harry, I'd probably be in Slytherin due to my cynicism.': See, I've always had issues with someone being suited for both, as being in Slytherin assumes that you have something of a brain. And given Harry's behaviour, especially the things he manages to accomplish all through the second half of the series ... well, I'm not giving or taking points because you've given me food for thought here. Also, you compared yourself to Harry willingly, so I feel bad for you.

* 'I need a combo house of Ravenclaw (Given my tendency towards logic and love of puzzles) and Hufflepuff because their house is under the kitchens. Of course, given my age, I expect I'll be teaching anyway so it doesn't really matter then, does it?': Ravenpuff? Huffleclaw? +10, I'm tired.

* 'Pfff! There's no such thing as Americans in Harry Potter!': +25 for clearly never reading fanfic.

* 'Gryffindor's lovable yet perverted professor of creative magic uses. Students come to me for timely advice, and get creeped out by sexual innuendo.': +10 if I can audit your class.

* 'Smellyfen. Sorry everyone.': Cripes, +5 for remembering a page I'd forgotten about.

Correct Answer: 'I'll TP *all* of them.'

That's enough of that. New one there. I'm gonna go crawl under a rock and keep sneezing. If you have been, bloody hell!