'How can I trust you when you've got the keys to a V-8 blender?!' by Kara
Monday, November 17, 2008 at 10:23 AM

Ladies and gentlemen ... over the past month or so, I have found myself having to explain harem anime to various friends and family. After I wanted to show some friends a surprisingly good Tenchi Muyo! skit on YouTube, and after my aunt accidentally watched Eiken (at least I'm pretty sure it was Eiken), explanations are in order.

For those really behind the times, harem anime follows a pretty basic formula: average guy with no redeeming qualities whatsoever finds himself surrounded by hot chicks, all of whom want him real bad and none of whom he makes any sort of move towards.

What is this all leading up to? The winter anime lineup. There are a few neat-looking things, like new seasons of Slayers and MariMite and a new Mazinger series (most of all). But naturally there's some pretty lousy-looking stuff. Less than usual, but still present. Oh, and one I thought was a joke: a little show called Akikan!

According to the description, this show is about an average, uninteresting high school dude who buys a can of melon soda. The empty can turns into a girl. Then there are other empty soda cans that also turn into cute girls, who must be kissed to infuse them with carbon dioxide in order to survive.

Oh, wait.

IT'S NOT A JOKE.

Soda cans that turn into girls.

... SODA CANS. THAT TURN. INTO GIRLS.

I'm really thinking they need a new translation of the Bible. Mainly Ecclesiastes 1:10, which should read: 'There is nothing new under the sun, except in Japan.'

If you have been ... um ... okay, this time I've got nothin'.