'Bitches don't know about my tea and light refreshments.' by Kara
Friday, September 19, 2008 at 12:29 AM

My g'father's been having abdominal pains, and he had to go to the hospital to get some tests done. Had a CAT scan and all that done, got his pictures back (and the titanium screws in his spine pretty well assured that they're his pictures). There don't seem to be any sort of complications that'd cause that, and he has a perfectly healthy appendix.

Except that his appendix was taken out in '76. Which means either they lied about his surgery 32 years ago, or he's up and grown a new one.

I always knew there was something wrong with my family.

How will you deal with the inevitable devastating effects of the Large Hadron Collider?

First: Row row fight the power. -- 16%
Second: Let Torchwood handle it. -- 9%
Third: [Insert party-pooper scientific explanation here.] -- 7%

Welcome our new Hadron overlords. -- 5%
Watch from a distance as mankind brings about its own downfall. -- 2%

Uncreativity Penalty: I'm not giving one this week because I just don't have it in me to dock points for something involving Gurren-Lagann.

Points

* 'Grab some fish and hitch a ride on the next dolphin outta here.': +15, Hitchhiker's Guide

* 'Hey, sounds like as good a time as any to gain superpowers.': Good luck with that. Here's +5 to get you started.

* 'Utilize its power to create a new sexy sentai team - the Hardy Hentai Hadron Hellions!': -10 for making me read that as 'hardon' in this context.

* 'Wait until a multitude of wormholes to paralel universes open up and take the one that has the best chance of me piloting a giant mecha.': I'm not claiming my five pounds because my bank account is empty right now. But +5 for a perfectly logical plan.

* 'Begin playing Rassilon's Game. (Dr Who reference)': Man, you lost points explaining your reference. There ain't but one Rassilon 'n' you best believe I know that. -10, but a valiant effort.

* 'Counteract them with Large Nordah collider! Muhahahahahahaha!!!': ...........

* 'Gather friends and pool our spiral power and "collective awesomness" to stop the spiral nemesis.': +25. Feel the power of the fuckin' points.

* 'Get drunk and call Gwen Cooper to see if she's up for an end-of-the-world roll in the hay.': She would. You don't need points from me, you're getting laid by a Welsh chick.

* 'hopefully I land on the Planet of the Oni and I can be the crazy Osaka-style foreigner there.': +10, that show my anime club wouldn't watch because it 'looks too old.'

* 'I harness the energy created to power my latest giant robot!!! Now I just need to find a few hot, busty co-pilots to operate the other units.': +10 pity-points. Good luck with that.

Correct Answer: Actually, the correct answer was Row Row Fight the Power.

If you have been, enjoy.