'His idea of breakfast is a Corona and trail mix.' by Kara
Friday, July 25, 2008 at 10:53 AM

Whoops. Fridays are busy, so I nearly forgot these. So I don't get angry barbarians at the gates, here ...

What's the most sure-fire way to get yourself to sleep when you have insomnia?

First: Read -- 18%
Second: Watch TV / (Any even remotely sexual responses go here) -- 10%
Third: Insomnia? What's thaazhzhjvzzzz -- 5%

Play video games -- 2%
Midnight snack/drink (this includes alcohol, I suppose ...) -- 2%
Read old comic archives -- 2%

Uncreativity Penalty: -5 for 'When you find out, let me know.'/'When I find out, I'll let you know.' -10 for anything that involves listening to boring people talk (Seriously, you could save time and watch Trial of a Time Lord. Why does no one listen to me?)

Points

* 'Read the Bible. Numbers is exceptionally useful here.': +15 for truth. Have you tried Leviticus? Similar effect.

* 'Sniff a little glue, smoke a little pot and I'm good to go.': I'll buy some from you. The glue, I mean.

* 'A glass of warm milk and a fresh package of Oreos.': +25 for that. Another +5 if they're Cakesters.

* 'watch "Shaun th Sheep"': +10 for Aardman.

* 'Maxwell's silver hammer came down on his head...': +15 for best musical number ever.

Correct Answer: 'Try and do something important and/or useful. The greatness of importance is directly proportional to how fast you'll fall asleep while attempting to do it.'

I need food.

If you have been, bang bang.