'It's possible my boobs don't control the internet, after all.' by Kara
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 11:05 AM

We'll just do a regular-time poll reset on Friday. It's not been a good week thus far, and I'm too tired to be witty.

I think I'll only talk about traffic court, though.

I couldn't just pay the fine online because it was a reckless driving charge (as I've mentioned before), and my court date just kept on getting put off. Couldn't put it off forever, though. My g'father has a friend who worked at a law firm before retiring, and they handle mostly business issues, but they were willing to help me out (especially since my g'father wants me to hook up with them anyway on intellectual copyright as time goes on). Seems like a bit much to get a lawyer, but for one thing you get seen first, and for another I'd sooner pay him than fluster myself in court and get myself screwed over.

Really, though, I loved the trials before me. They had a video conference going with some kids in jail for murder. (Yipe.) That was two blocks before me; they were running late. The block before me consisted entirely of traffic violations, mostly low-level speeding in 25s. A brake light or two out, expired license, blah.

But my absolute favourite was a guy who'd been parking his pickup illegally near his office for (apparently) the last 12 years, and had only just gotten pulled in for it. Now, I can understand arguing a case and trying to get your fine reduced or even dropped. But this guy brought in a fucking map and a fucking aerial photo to attempt to prove that his truck was too wide to fit in any of the many open legal spaces just across the street. 'My truck is six feet wide -- I measured -- and your average Saturn -- which I also measured -- is only five feet long.' Meanwhile all of us waiting to go up and do our shit and get breakfast are trying very hard not to snicker. We are failing. This guy is dead serious and going nuts, and at this point even the cop looks like he's going 'WhatEVER.' No, he was found guilty as charged and sent along to pay his fine.

So I was in the next block and got seen first, and it was over pretty quickly. The officer's radar had been calibrated so there was no question of my speed, but when the judge saw that my driving record was quite literally blank save for license renewals and address changes, she dropped it to speeding, told me not to do it again, and sent me along. Incidentally, I believe pretty much the entirety of the people left in the room at that point were pulled for speeding by that one cop, as he was the only one left. And yeah, I've seen him camping out there, and every other day or so I see him with someone new pulled over.

So I was in the next room writing out my cheque, and the guy who'd been sitting next to me came in. He looked pretty much as apathetic as I felt, so I assumed he'd gotten something similar.

'So ... may I ask what yours was?'

He shook his head. 'ExACTly the same as yours.'

Well, quite.

If you have been, later.