One more day ... by Kara
Wednesday, March 24, 2010 at 10:50 AM

Well, Friday's rant is gonna have something a little interesting and special that covers half of what I want/need to say, so this will cover the other half.

People who peer at the Shoutbox at random times will likely notice that I've been bitching about people's reaction to and comments on ConScrew ending. Sounds a bit like a broken record, I'm sure. But when one keeps on getting the same comments sent to one, one isn't bovvered how one sounds.

I think a lot of my readers have built up this sort of David Tennant image of me ... like they think on Friday I'll give out one last tearful 'I don't want to go.' I suppose I can sort of understand where they'd get that. Whether I can quite fathom it or not, people are going to miss it. So they expect I'll feel exactly the same as they do, if not more so.

Well, the final page was completed about a week ago. So I've been spending these few days in a sort of artistic limbo, where it's done but not done. And it's given me time to figure out how to phrase things coherently.

I've had a lot of people trying to comfort me and tell me that I can always come back to ConScrew when I'm ready to.

But ... how can I put this.

It's like graduating from high school. Yes, everything's sort of suddenly different. Many many years of your life are over and things are about to change. You'll miss aspects of it, sure, but you look forward to moving on with fond memories (we're just gonna say for the sake of argument that my high school years weren't mostly crap). Some parts of your life will still go on as they did. The rest? Well, there's something new ahead that you've been looking forward to. That, while it won't replace what you've left, will be something new to settle in where you left off.

Now, imagine that, once you've walked and gotten your diploma, your family sees you looking a bit nostalgic and says, 'It's all right. You could always come back next fall!'

You wouldn't, would you? Because, well, it's stupid. You've got college about to start. You'll miss your high school years (for the sake of argument let's say I didn't go to Catholic school), it'll be kind of confusing to change your life that much, you might even find yourself idly saying once in a while that you'd like to go back. But if offered the opportunity, somehow I don't think I'd see you buying a new Trapper Keeper set of notebooks and leaping back on the bus on the first day back.

It's not even an option you'd leave open. Because that part of your life is ended. It would be naive and, let's not lie, ridiculous to leave it 'available' to yourself.

And imagine you'd just spent the last two months proudly showing said family your acceptance letter to your college of choice. And imagine they ignored the letter entirely and still insisted that you might consider hanging around in high school a bit longer.

Yeah. Friday is my walk and my diploma. ConScrew was my school years -- familiar, busy, a defining part of my life now and in the future, but at its natural end. The new project is college -- exciting, a little daunting, a lot more demanding, and the new experience that will fill the area of my life that its predecessor once did.

I'm so flattered and touched that you guys are going to miss it, and I hope you'll continue to buy the print versions as they come out. But come on, my lovers ...

... don't ask me to go back to high school.

If you have been ... incoming.