Colt and awoke after far too little sleep the next...er SAME morning aware that today would be the 'Macross Launch Ceremony' day. Cold and clear, we headed out to Akiba early as we had no clue when thigs would be starting. We also figured that if we had one last chance at the tickets to the special events, we'd go for it. Arriving at the Tokyo Anime Center, we were dismayed to discover all the limeted edition posters *only 10,000 were printed* were gone...and with it , our chances at snagging tickets to the event. Dismayed but not defeated, we planned to make the most of it by seeing what else we could get into. After surveying the site and determining that we could still get into the merchandise hall and check out the awsome models and stuff on display, we were content to get some lunch with Kayt.

Now Kaytis an interesting person for those of you who have never met her. But she's kinda a closet geek when it comes to some stuff. She had decided that I needed to go to a 'Maid cafe' while I was here and took that as an opportunity to go to one herself, as she never would on her own. I can't begin to do it the justice she could....so for all concerned...I'm going to cut and paste her(somewhat long) Facebook post about it(since some people don't have it and cant follow a link to it) and...because she sums it up in ways that I could never do. Here's her post.

"Rob, Colt and I planned to meet up for lunch to socialize on Sunday before Rob headed back to America.

They chose Akihabara (Akiba). I dislike the electronics district. It makes my skin crawl. My only good memory of Akiba has been sitting in the massage chairs with Warning-san after a long day of walking. Akiba is hyperactively geeky and creepy. All the electronics you need...got em! Latest ultra-small technology for photographing girls in on toilets...got it! UBS attachable penile-stimulating sleeve in the shape of a tentacle in order to fully experience on-line anime-porn games...probably*....but Rob and Colt had some Macross thing to go to later in the day in Akiba so Akiba it was.

Part of the treat of having visiting friends is seeing Japan through fresh eyes. You also get to go do touristy/strange stuff you'd never do alon/with ex-pats/Japanese friends...for me that meant suggesting a maid cafe...which apparently was already in the day's plans. Colt, Rob's friend who is studying here in Japan, already had one in mind. I've been to a cat cafe alone (where I played with cats, not people dressed up like cats) but I'd never go to a maid cafe by myself.

Kayt, what's a maid cafe?: The waitresses are cute young looking J-girls dressed in maid costumes (or cat maid costumes/ or olden-day maids if olden days meant mini-kimono with snap-on boys and peticoats...) there to serve you. Maid cafes are a fairly recent phenomena. They cater to the cos-play loving Akibake geek boys in general. Colt, nice guy...but also a nice guy with his own maid cafe members card. I did not steal it from him and scan it for you...but I thought about it.

I took the train into Akiba, but because I took a metro train instead of a JR one, I had problems finding the exit they wanted to meet me at. I ended up texting them, they suggested that I find the "Sega center" which implied I know where the fuck anything was in Akiba. They eventually set off to find me, which they did.

Colt is a smallish, clean-cut, mostly Latino boy. Rob is only a smidgen taller than me. While in Japan, Rob has been questioned by undercover Japanese police who searched his bags...which apparently Colt has also endured. This is part of Japan I never get to see!

For those of you who know my college boyfriend Mitch, Rob looks like Bizzarro-world Mitch. It's more to the point to say that Mitch is Bizzaro-World Rob. Mitch is more likely to have Bizzaro-bloodshot red eyes and make grunting noises before coffee. If Mitch were constantly bouncy, didn't drink coffee, Dj'd J-pop tunes, like dressing up like a pirate, rode Harleys, and always had at least one Anime fan item of clothing or decoration on at all time...he would be Rob. Someday I'll meet non-bizzaro world me, she'll be all about facebook applications, texted hugs, and unicorns.

Neither Colt nor Rob seems suspicious to me, but I am not the Japanese police.

When I met them in Akiba they both has special Macross event folders and stuff. Prior to them finding me they'd encountered an Akibake and blew his mind. The young geek pointed at the Macross stuff and then began to bounce uncontrollably and lose words at the fact he was seeing FOREIGN geeks with MACROSS stuff who spoke some JAPANESE. It was for this reason that I felt very uncomfortable carrying any of their Macross stuff, I felt it would be false advertising and lead to geek heartbreak.

We got crap food and headed to the cafe. Colt said we'd be going to the "traditional" floor...and indeed there were four floors of maid cafes in the building he took us to. We'd be getting the fake-oldtimey maids instead of french maids or maids with cat ears.

In the elevator I started getting itchy.

"Maids are supposed to make things clean, so why do I feel so diiiiirty?"

We entered the maid cafe and the head maid (with orangey hair, a small tiara, a tiny kimono with 80's peticoats under the mini-skirt, and stockings) frantically looking for the English explanation sheet even though I kept telling her a Japanese one would do.

The basics:

700 yen sitting charge

You can't touch the maids.

No photos.

You can pay for a photo with a maid in the photo room.

Oooooookay!

It was a small cafe, many customers around a slightly raised tatami stage (where some girls would kneel to make tea, or play games with customers. Games were mostly childish in nature including plastic "rock'em'sockem robots" and things with oversized dice) and side booths. We had a nearby booth. Games with your maid was an item on the menu, but we did not order any. We figured any games we wanted to play with our maid would be off the menu.

Head maid brought us English and Japanese menus. We all groaned our displeasure on learning that they were out of the sweet pancakes decorated like kitty faces. Then she left and we went over out menus. A Japanese menu would have sufficed, as there were huge pictures next to everything...but we would have missed out on the one amusing English commentary for "Tsukimi Cake" : Oh my god, there's a moon on your cake!

Colt ordered a frothy tea (which apparently wasn't high grade enough to get us the table-side maid tea ceremony) I ordered the Mr. Turtle cake (green tea cake with whipped creme feet and smiling head) and Rob got some ice cream and jelly thing.

When our maid came we discussed the cuteness of the food with her. Then she explained to Rob that he would have to make cat noises to indicate when she should stop pouring the sweet sauce over his desert. No cat noise, no stopping..this prompted Rob and Colt to sing a cat-noise related song from Macross at her and I then witnessed my friends and my maid geeking out together.*Editors note- it was the Nyan Nyan jingle from Frontier, and our waitress honestly , truly laughed with us, covering her mouth and all and exclaiming 'Ahh! Frontier!* Syrup was poured...cat noises were made. Then we had to bless the meal together by all waving our hands and saying (in Japanese) "Shiny shiny!" putting our hands in a heart shape "Heart!" and making a gesture showing that heart shape zipping away from our chests "Ziiiiing!"

If I were an anime character those gestures would have either transformed me into my spirit animal, ripped my clothing off to expose my fighting bikini, or engaged my battle armor..possibly all three. As it was, it just made me feel unclean.

Mr. Turtle was tasty.

We did seem to be a source of positive amusement to our maid, but we didn't tax her too much. Most people go there for maid flirtation. I saw solo men sighing and saying things like "Sister, I am so tired" to be verbally fluffed up about how hard they must work and such... but that just made us feel off. I didn't want to flirt with a maid...although I did long to snap off one one the snap-on bows but figured that broke the "no touching" rule.

Sometime in all of this a man a black suit with tails (men's wear, not animal wear) and white gloves walked in. It was a polyester suit, the shirt was slightly untucked, and he looks a bit disheveled and cheap all around....not unlike our maids with that snap-on obi bows.

"Shit, they've got a magician" I said, thinking that because he was in that costume he was part of a maid-show. I briefly explained to ROb and Colt that I have an irrational dislike of magicians. I say "irrational" because I am sure some of you like, are married to, or are magicians...but I am sorry....I feel about them the way some of you feel about clowns.

He sat down at one of the stage/seat counters. I had to swivel around in my seat to get a good look at him...but figuring him to be a magician I was ok with that.

"He's not a magician! He's got a music case. He's a muuuuuuuuusician, not a maaaagician" Rob and Colt informed me.

I wasn't having any of it. Real musicians dress better for good gigs or dress down more for street busking...he was creepy...and creepy in my book was made me lean toward magician.

"That doesn't mean anything. He could have rabbits in there." I mumbled.

We ate until Colt, who was sitting across from me and Rob, hissed "Looooook" and stared at the area just behind us. Rob and I turned.

The mystery man, who had ordered something, was now carefully arranging a large, blonde, ball-jointed doll in white lolita-styled outfit to sit on the counter in front of him and eat with him.

It took me a while to sit up straight again and giggle "It's a good thing she fits on the counter, other wise...700 yen siting fee!"

At least I wasn't the only female customer anymore.

I realize now I should have just changed sides to sit with Colt and oggle the date as much as I wanted to, but I was trying to remain social. The three of us discussed how he's probably a regular and the sad fact that "the guy with the doll" might not refer to just one customer in this area. We went on to tell bad customer stories from our own histories...and tried not to think too much about the doll...but every once in a while I would look, giggle and say something like. "The gloves...that's why he wears the gloves, because oils from the hands might damage her precious paint...ohhh gooooooooodddddd." or I'd and be reduced to smiling, bouncing, and clapping my hands....not unlike the Akibake who I previously mocked for his reaction to encountering Colt and Rob.

Again Colt gestured for us to look.

The violin case was open on the counter and he was gently lowering his date into it. Ha! I was RIGHT! Not a musician! Colt could also see the stack of "with maid/with cosplay girls" photos in there with her. I wanted a better look because I'll bet money he has pictures of the two of them seeing the sights of Japan....but oh well.

I still can't erase the man in the cheap formal wear and the doll or the loving way he eased her into her carrying crypt. I don't know if you grasp how erie it was.

As the three of us talked it was a reoccurring motif,,,

"So I've learned to ask more questions like "do you live alone?' 'when you say roommate do you mean..."

"Girlfriend?"

"...or girlfriend of 6 years who moved here to be with you? or wife? and now I have 'does your lover fit in a violin case?'"

So, thank you Rob and Colt, for taking me someplace I would never go alone and showing me something I would otherwise not have seen. Being haunted by the image of a man on a date with a doll in Akihabara is getting off light when it comes to things you could see in Akiba. My friend Daniel has remarked before, on visitors who want to go into Akiba porn places (and I am paraphrasing). "Yes, you'll see things in there that will be funny but then you'll see something you don't want to see...and you won't be able to forget it."

Thank you Kayt. Your wit and outlook on life keeps me laughing (not to mention the size of this post enourmous) and makes me glad I saw you after so many years. Hope to see you back in the US sometime soon.

So, after that...we headed back to the Macross event *since I was practicaly vibrating with anticipation* so we could get in line for the goods hall.

We were probably the only gaijin there.

We stood in line for the event to open again after lunch and remarked about that fact, when the gates opened and we were let into money erasing heaven! All manner of merchandise assaulted our wallets and though I'd love to have a Sherryl Nome towel, I'm NOT paying 100 bucks for one. Mugs, stuffed figures, pins....FOOD! Anything and everything that could have a Macross logo put on it was there. After being dismayed that the Sherryl/Ranka fan club wouldn't ship out to the US *typical*, I made my way to the busiest table, the one selling the awsome bags and calendars. It was a fight...fight of epic proportions. Imagine the most crowded busy tabel at a con in the dealers room and multiply that by about 100, and thats what you had. Repeated requests form the vendors had to be made for people to stop pushing on the front of the crowd and fighting with all your body each time one left was the only way to make forward progress. And they call the Japanese a polite people! All I know is the artist better appreciate what I got her! After fighting for about 40 minutes , Colt and I finaly got our goods from there *No I did NOT get the SMS bean jam paste cookies* and tried to beat a hasty retreat. Even getting out was a nightmare. We broke free and after snapping some pics off the art on the walls (which I was apparently not supposed to do...oh well) we went out to see the models on display and check out the car. After snapping lots of cool pics of the models, we checked out the small compact they had been stickering up all afternoon. It looked great. We were about to call it a day, as we were both quite tired from the day before (me from the whole week) and head back to his place early to get some rest before I flew out the next day. As we went to leave, a small group of Macross cos-players met our path and we had to stop for pictures. They were all extremely nice and amazed at the fact that we knew so much about Macross. I got cards and emails and set off with Colt...for the bittersweet ride home from Akiba....

Coming up next, the long ride home!

Resistance issszzzzzzz.....