'Kiss Bang Bonk Galore!' by Kara
Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 7:03 AM

So it seems Co-Writer's off at the DMV this morning. I will let him elaborate later if he so wishes.

So help me, I think one of my guinea pigs is brain-damaged.

Squeak, the one boy out of Noriko's litter (the only one from it that I kept) has grown over the last year, granted, but he's still a hair on the small side. That's fine, he was always the runt.

But have you ever seen that episode of House where House finds that rat in his ex-girlfriend's attic and it's got the odd head-tilt? Yeah, Steve McQueen. Squeak's got that going. It's not a sign of deteriorating health, as he is damn healthy. I just think he might be just a little bit ... erm ... special.

Maybe he got smushed up by his sisters inside mommy. I mean, Noriko was really freakin' pregnant, and while the babies were indeed fun-sized, even Squeak wasn't teeny enough to reassure me that they all got 'enough' (how do I know?) room.

He's not particularly bright, either. Contrary to popular belief, guinea pigs are fairly smart. Mine know when it's Saturday (and thus cage-cleaning day) somehow pretty much as soon as I wake up. The girls have learned to unlatch their gravity feeder from their cage wall, and Gilbert sure tries, but he's alone in the endeavour. Because meanwhile, Squeak is trying to sit in said feeder ... or crawl over my shoulder to 'sit' vertically on my back ... or, on at least on occasion, try to climb the walls of the cage to get away from some shredded paper.

And he always, always looks at me with that vaguely tweaked look.

Poor guy. He needs a helmet.

If you have been, it's someone else's fault.