'This week, we learn how mowing the lawn will help you become emperor of hell.' by Kara
Sunday, September 21, 2008 at 1:05 AM

With the coming of the new semester in Williamsburg, I've had neighbours around me switching out. It's not that I've seen the trucks or anything, as they tend to come while I'm at work. No, it's because the noises from the adjoining flats have changed.

Now, if you're standing in the front of my flat facing towards the street, you'll have the entrance to your left, the kitchen to your right, the bedroom behind you to the left, the office behind you to your right, and the bathroom far right. Which means kitchen, bathroom, and office are all alongside one flat, and bedroom is along another (not so much living room -- next to it is the staircase). And then, of course, there's the flat below me.

For the past few months, the flat below me has been shouty. Or, well, had been. Then I'm guessing people joined me in filing noise complaints because the screamin' cussin' couple up and left. It's pretty tough to hear anything of my downstairs neighbours unless they're making an unholy amount of noise, which they're not. I've seen that it's a guy and a girl, college age, living below me. And they don't look like wild partiers, but that doesn't mean much. If they turn out to be such, I will overlook any noisy parties provided I'm invited to them.

On one side, the side currently to my left as I sit here typing in my office, things stayed relatively quiet. There would be the occasional blurry TV noise as a general sign of life, but nothing that would tell me about the people next door. Well, either I've got new neighbours, or the ones who've been there have suddenly become crazed half-deaf R&B fanatics. Bah, if you're gonna play something loud, play something I like, at least.

Most interesting of all is the flat on the other side. The one I can hear through my bedroom wall.

Now, from them I'd get the most noise. I don't think it's because those neighbours were noisier than any others -- I just think they had their bedroom set up in a similar area and the TV next to the wall. Every weekday morning I'd hear their alarm (which is okay since it went off as I was getting ready to head out), and on weekends I was either woken up by their phone ringing -- mainly because it sounded identical to mine -- or a Sunday morning preacher on the TV.

No more.

In point of fact, I hadn't heard any noise from there until maybe a few hours ago. I couldn't really tell what it was because the wall dampened the nature of the sound, if not the fact that there was any. But no morning televangelist and no weekday morning alarm, and those two things aren't things you're likely gonna just give up all of a sudden.

So a bit back, I finally actually heard something coming from the mysteriously-silent flat. I was intrigued. I'd never gotten even a glimpse at who might be there now. So I put my ear to the wall a bit and had a listen.

And, well ... given the style of music, and the way it started and stopped ...

... I'm pretty sure I live next door to a mariachi band now.

More on this as it develops. If you have been .......... WAIT WHAT!?